we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
