I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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