I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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