how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
