I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
