she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
