Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
