would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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