He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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