Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
