Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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