so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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