So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
