It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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