he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
