just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
