I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
