Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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