But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
