Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
