The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
