Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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