According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
3 2 1 whiskey
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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