What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
