THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
