I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont even know how to be here
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
