What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
