areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think my moral compass just broke
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