You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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