bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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