Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
