I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
