I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
