I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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