my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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