conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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