oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
