i would punch a child for taco bell
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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