Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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