Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
