she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize