We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
