You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
