you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
