haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
