i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
