Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Randomize
