she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
