well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
