my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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