Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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