I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize