last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you never un-have a 4some
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
