i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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