He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize