atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
