She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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