well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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