sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
