Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize