I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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