The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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