i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
