Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
