Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
