Where did you get a picture of my penis
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
