that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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